With all my life behind me and ahead

And with all that I know now,void of strength,

tiny and fragile like a

green newborn bloom, or…

I can only say that I should have known (or, rather

just didn’t I always know?)

that I would end up here and now and

because it’s a whole life on the margin

a whole lifetime of footnotes and asterisks

of exceptions and glossaries,

separate terms, or, rather, one-definition words

a strange phenomenon in itself, years after years after many

but I always kind of hoped, dreamed, played with

-a crazy thought, I now know-

that things would someday someway be just like

in the movies or the way they are for the bad guys, who

in reality (as we all now know)

get the girl and win it all, but

with all that I’ve seen and lived, I still want to

live another day, wake another day, to struggle

(even if I fall flat often, exhausted,


give my heart with every breathe, just to see

the following minute, the following second, just to


just to be filled with the pride

(exactly like vitamin water for rose roots and petals)

of fighting one more day, for me, for you

of standing up one more day, against them, against the world and everyone,

to shower in the savage pride, in the raw glory

of being a comet in a parallel orbit

just exactly as away from the next as it would take

to be nearly as close, but also

inevitably dejected, aloof

always the star of my life, but

its only witness as well



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