I think I’m going to enjoy writing down my everyday adventures and misadventures, like I used to do. It’s routine, perhaps, but it’s good routine. Writing like this is never a burden, and I never lack the energy to do it, even if sometimes I’d rather be doing something else.
This requires method, too, and although it isn’t great effort, it is sometimes still a task, albeit a self-imposed one. It’s not pretty like poetry, and it doesn’t have a great denouement, like a novel, but it’s genuinely me.
I’ve realized I like it better (I feel better) when my thoughts are slowed down, or when I have just one at a time. That’s good. I think a lot of it has to do with the side of me that still identifies itself with the frustrated writer mental image. The frustrated writer sees something important or noticeable in every little thought. But there’s something more noble about it, if I may say so -the nobility lies in the part of me that explores everything because it aims to find out, and bring to the surface everything that is remarkable, and beautiful about anything, and then, by use of writing, make it last forever: somehow, have that beautiful quality survive my mere short existence. I also struggle to purify (=depurar, no purificar) the human conceptualization of beauty and goodness. Because human existence is a journey into and toward beauty, and we live because of beauty; but, at the same time, by our existence we taint it, so all our struggle is that two-way road, one way and the other, up and down.
I also noticed how great beauty, the kind that moves us and stirs our soul, clicking on the magic click we all have built in, is often a matter of tempos and coincidences. One beautiful thing alone can do that, but often times two beautiful things put together are fantastically synergystic. A robot unicorn running and jumping and dashing along the purple and pink meadows and valleys is not the same as that same unicorn plus the “Always” song, and the unicorn and the song together and alone aren’t as beautiful as the unicorn, the song and the sound effect and the sparkling little dolphin all together, especially when they all occur when the unicorn is dashing thru a star.
That is heart-stirring beauty.